Liquid Water Discovered on Surface of Minnesota

I live in Minnesota. This is… shockingly close to reality.

The Fourth Crown

FORT LAUDERDALE—In a press conference held Tuesday morning, NASA officials have announced the discovery of liquid water on the surface of the region commonly referred to as Minnesota. The discovery has come as a surprise to the space exploration organization, which has listed the state of Minnesota as “unsuitable for any and all biotic life” since mid-November. Temperature trends extrapolated from four months of hard data had extensively confirmed the scientific community’s well-formed hypothesis that Minnesota temperatures were unlikely to shift above “subarctic status.”

“As we continue to develop our understanding of the incredible conditions in which life can develop, the discovery of liquid water in Minnesota is a indeed a watershed moment,” commented Major General Charles F. Bolden Jr., NASA’s chief administrator. “This planetary region has had all of its aquatic reserves trapped in large ice-masses due to extreme cold for an interminable length of time,” continued Bolden. “The discovery of…

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